The Skelebro Diaries
by ShadowRanger10
Summary: Post-True Pacifist ending. Papyrus keeps a diary of his adventures on the surface. It is glorious.


SURFACE DIARY

PROPERTY OF PAPYRUS

DO NOT OPEN

I MEAN YOU, SANS

SERIOUSLY SANS, STOP READING

I KNOW YOU'RE STILL READING

STOP

NOW

OK YOU'RE DEFINITELY TOO LAZY TO GET THIS FAR. I CAN START NOW.

ENTRY 1:

THE SURFACE WORLD IS AMAZING! THERE ARE DOGS EVERYWHERE. AND CARS! THEY LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE MY BED TOO! I NEED TO GET ONE, BUT THE KING SAYS WE HAVE TO WAIT A WHILE. THE HUMANS DON'T USE GOLD LIKE WE DO. THEY ARE GOING TO GIVE US PIECES OF PAPER SO WE CAN BUY THINGS. HUMANS SEEM SILLY, BUT IT'S OK. IF THEY'RE ALL LIKE FRISK, WE CAN BE FRIENDS!

THE QUEEN SAID WE WOULD ALL NEED NEW JOBS. I'M STILL SAD THE ROYAL GUARD IS GONE, BUT UNDYNE HAD A GREAT IDEA! I, THE GREAT SPAGHETTI MASTER PAPYRUS, WILL TEACH THE HUMANS HOW TO COOK!

ENTRY 2:

WE HAVE A NEW HOUSE! THE HUMANS SAID IT'S CALLED AN APARTMENT! IT'S A TALL, SKINNY KIND OF HOUSE, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE LIVE THERE BUT THEY'RE ALL IN DIFFERENT ROOMS.

THE OTHERS ALL FOUND THEIR OWN HOUSES TOO. THEY'RE SCATTERED ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT IT'S OK. ALPHYS GAVE EVERYONE NEW CELLPHONES THAT WORK ON THE SURFACE, AND SHE SAID WE COULD MAKE NEW ACCOUNTS ON THE HUMAN INTERNET TO SHARE PICTURES. AND BESIDES, SHE AND UNDYNE LIVE IN ANOTHER APARTMENT THAT'S NEARBY. WE'LL STILL SEE EACH OTHER EVERY DAY.

I'M GOING TO STOP FOR NOW. SANS ALREADY STARTED LEAVING SOCKS ALL OVER THE PLACE. I AM GOING TO START HIDING THEM FROM HIM.

ENTRY 3:

TODAY, PAPYRUS THE MAGNIFICENT FACED HIS GREATEST CHALLENGE! I HAVE CONQUERED THE HUMAN SUPERMARKET!

SANS, UNDYNE AND I WENT TO LEARN ABOUT HUMAN FOOD. THE SHOP WAS EVEN BIGGER THAN THE ONE IN SNOWDIN! AND THE HUMANS HAD THESE BIG METAL CARTS WITH WHEELS! I'M GLAD SANS WAS WITH ME, HE TOLD ME HOW WE WERE SUPPOSED TO USE THEM TO RACE BETWEEN THE GIANT SHELVES. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! I CRASHED INTO A STACK OF BOXES AND IT TURNED OUT: IT WAS SPAGHETTI! THE HUMANS HAVE SO MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF SPAGHETTI! OH AND UNDYNE WENT SO FAST SHE LEFT TIRE MARKS ON THE FLOOR! THE HUMANS ALL JUMPED OUT OF HER WAY AND ALL THE SHELVES STARTED FALLING. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN, BUT THEY ASKED US NOT TO COME BACK. I THINK WE WERE TOO AWESOME AT RACING AND THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE UNFAIR TO THE HUMANS. IT'S OK THOUGH, WE GOT A FREE BOX OF SPAGHETTI AFTER ONE OF THE LEADERS SAW UNDYNE SUPLEX A SHELF.

NYAHAHAHA NO SUPERMARKET STANDS A CHANCE AGAINST US!

ENTRY 4:

THE KING TOOK US ALL TO A MUSEUM TODAY! IT'S A PLACE WHERE HUMANS KEEP OLD THINGS. IT WAS REALLY BORING AND FULL OF OLD PIECES OF PAPER EXCEPT...

I KNEW IT! I KNEW HUMANS WERE DESCENDED FROM SKELETONS! THERE WERE WHOLE ROOMS FULL OF BONES AND THE GUIDE SAID THEY WERE FROM THE THINGS THAT CAME BEFORE HUMANS! SOME OF THEM EVEN LOOKED A LOT LIKE ALPHYS!

WE DIDN'T GET TO SEE IT ALL THOUGH. THEY KICKED US OUT WHEN ONE OF THE DOGS THAT CAME WITH US STOLE A FEW BONES.

I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS! DUMB SANS AND HIS INCIDENTAL MUSIC!

ENTRY 5:

SANS SAID HE FOUND A JOB FOR ME! IT'S A TV SHOW WHERE I WILL TEACH HUMANS HOW TO COOK! THEY WANT TO CALL IT MONSTER CHEF. I THINK "THE PAPYRUS SHOW" HAS A NICE RING TOO IT, BUT THAT'S OK. SANS SAID UNDYNE WOULD BE MY CO-STAR, SO IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT TO LEAVE HER OUT. I AM SO EXCITED! WE GET TO WORK TOGETHER AGAIN!

IT MAKES ME WONDER THOUGH...SANS SAID HE HAS A JOB BUT HE'S ALWAYS IN HIS ROOM. WHAT DOES HE DO ALL DAY? ...HOW DID HE FIND THIS JOB? I'M A LITTLE WORRIED NOW, BUT IT'S SANS. HE'S LAZY, BUT HE GETS RESULTS. SOMEHOW.

ENTRY 6:

FRISK CAME BY TO VISIT! THEY SAID THEY'VE BEEN WATCHING THE SHOW, AND IT MADE ME SUCH A HAPPY SKELETON! THEY SAID THEY LIKED HOW IT WAS SO LITERALLY EXPLOSIVE! SANS SAID THE PEOPLE WHO OWNED THE STUDIO WOULD PROBABLY DISAGREE, BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S TRUE! A LOT OF PEOPLE WATCH OUR SHOW! JUST YESTERDAY, ONE OF MY ONLINE FANS SAID WE WERE ON FIRE! DAPPERBLOOK99 WAS RIGHT! UNDYNE CAUGHT IT WITH ONE OF THE FIRE EXTINGUISHERS WE HAVE TO KEEP ON THE SET NOW.

AND...I DIDN'T WANT TO WRITE ABOUT THIS, BUT THE QUEEN CAME BY TOO. SHE AND SANS SPENT THE ENTIRE TIME MAKING TERRIBLE JOKES. IT WASN'T EVEN PUNNY!

...

OH NO!

IT'S CONTAGIOUS! I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES!

...NOOOOOOOOOOO!

ENTRY 7:

SANS AND THE QUEEN ARE EVIL. THAT IS ALL.

ENTRY 8:

I GOT THE CAR! MY DREAM CAME TRUE! I FELT THE WIND IN MY BONES AND EVERYTHING! I THOUGHT CARS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE FASTER THOUGH. I WAS A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED WHEN SANS PASSED ME ON HIS NEW BIKE. AND WHEN FRISK PASSED ME ON FOOT. AND WHEN THE YELLOW SNAIL FROM THE FARM PASSED ME TOO.

MAYBE I SHOULD BUY A BIKE.

ENTRY 9:

I DON'T THINK I WANT TO WRITE HERE ANYMORE. GOODBYE.

ENTRY 10:

I MISS UNDYNE.

ENTRY 11:

SHE LEFT THE SHOW AND BECAME A GYM TEACHER AT THE QUEEN'S NEW SCHOOL. SHE AND ALPHYS FOUND A HOUSE CLOSER TO THE SCHOOL. WE'VE ALWAYS WORKED TOGETHER, AND NOW...

I AM HAPPY FOR HER BUT...

I AM HAPPY.

UNDYNE IS HAPPY.

EVERYONE IS HAPPY.

ENTRY 12:

I CAN DO THE SHOW ALONE. IT'S STILL FUN. THEY'RE THINKING OF FINDING ME A NEW CO-STAR.

ENTRY 13:

I WENT TO ANOTHER NEW SUPERMARKET. IT WASN'T THE SAME. I MET THE QUEEN THERE. SHE SAID I LOOKED DOWN.

BUT I TOLD HER I WAS VERY UP! WHY WOULDN'T I BE! SO LONG AS I HAVE SPAGHETTI, I CAN NEVER BE LONELY!

SHE SMILED, BUT IT LOOKED SAD. THE QUEEM IS ALMOST AS CONFUSING AS SANS.

ENTRY 14:

I LOVE THE QUEEN!

ENTRY 15:

WATCH OUT LITTLE MONSTERS AND HUMANS! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NOW A TEACHER! THE QUEEN SAID THEY NEEDED A HOME ECONOMICS CLASS!

I WILL DO IT! THE PRESSURES OF FAME ARE TOO MUCH FOR ONE SKELETON ANYWAY. I HAVE A NEW MISSION NOW: I WILL TEACH THESE KIDS HOW TO SEW, COOK, AND CLEAN WITH THE BEST OF THEM!

FIRST LESSON: HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BONES!

I'LL BE TOO BUSY TO WRITE HERE NOW, I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO! GOTTA GET READY FOR CLASS! AND SANS AND I ARE MOVING! UNDYNE SAID THE HUMANS IN THE HOUSE NEXT TO HERS JUST LEFT-SOMETHING ABOUT TOO MANY SPEARS-SO WE CAN MOVE IN THERE! I HAVE TO PACK! AND GET SANS TO PACK! THAT'LL TAKE A WEEK ALL IT'S OWN AT THE LEAST!

I THINK I'LL KEEP THIS AROUND. THE PAPYRUS MUSEUM WILL NEED IT ONE DAY. THEN EVERYONE IN THE FUTURE WILL KNOW ALL ABOUT MY GREAT ADVENTURES!


End file.
